People’s ideals change, I’m coming to realise that. Mine has. Or I’ve come to see better who I would fit with. The kind of man I would like to do everyday life with. (Monday, 17th September, 2012)
October and I am so ready to say yes! He could have asked me whenever and I knew my answer. I wanted an official courtship, I wanted to mentally allow myself to let go and fall in love and it was getting increasingly harder not to. I wanted to be able to reach out and hug him.
I am struggling not being ‘a couple’. I didn’t think I would but I am! I want to be publically claimed as his.
Thus we entered into a few weeks together, including a visit to his parents – the first one since I’d become a possibility as a future daughter-in-law.
Joel’s parents are two incredible people. Their amazing sons alone would be testimony to that! They’ve taken a lot of things in their stride but when Joel contacted them and announced he’d messaged me regarding courtship, it was enough to cause even them to worry!
An incredible blessing, they’d actually been praying for Joel’s wife-to-be for years. They had been hurt as well by the previous relationship that had gone up in flames and were praying for a nice Christian girl to move into Joel’s life, even better, a nice, normal relationship to develop, maybe through church or something. It had never crossed their mind, I think it’s fair to say, that Joel would have to basically court me over Facebook and it took a while (completely understandably!) for them to come round to the idea. They, even more than me, wanted the best for their son and they were joined with me in debating if this was it.
It is to their complete credit, and faith, I think, that they were so calm about it. They were worried, obviously, but made it clear to me (which sadly, I didn’t always hear as I was worrying too much), that the problem wasn’t with me – it was the whole way this story had started. (I have informed my own parents that my daughters will be banned from Facebook as I can’t stand the drama! So yes, they definitely have my sympathy!)
That visit was, for me, calming. To my surprise, I enjoyed being around them (I know, it sounds terrible but I was scared stiff of them, my imagination having completely blown everything up out of proportion). I not only survived the visit, I actually enjoyed it and valued the time I had with them. To be able to have honest conversations with them and share my concerns was a blessing I had not expected.
The greatest blessing, at the end of that visit with them, was the knowledge whilst they were still confused by how God was working in this, they would support us.
We then headed down to London to stay with my best friend and her family and introduce Joel to the concept of a barn dance! Whilst in the car, he asked what I’d been waiting for: did I want to take this forward?
Yes, oh yes.
We were sitting in the car, traffic heavy, when he asked and I said yes and then waited for something to feel different. After a few minutes, I peeked a look at him and asked, “Do you feel any different?” and when he replied no, relaxed and just enjoyed mentally going over it all again.
You know how you wake up on a birthday and feel you should instinctively feel different because, hey, an extra year should feel different, right? It was like that. There were no fairies dancing around, definitely no glitter sparkles. And yet, I had just answered an incredibly important question.
I was officially Joel’s girlfriend.