Snapshots Of The Rollercoaster: Introduction

Colds stink.  Well, actually, I suppose I haven’t a clue if they really do since it’s robbed me of my sense of smell, amongst other things. It is why I’m lying awake though, listening to my husband of four weeks breathe deeply as he sleeps. And man, there were times I would never have believed it.  That in two years I’d go from a sleepless night because some numpty had the gumption to ask me out (I had plans, for goodness sake!) to a sleepless night thanks to germs but gazing in slight (read: complete and utter) adoration of the man who massaged my aching shoulders and did all the hoovering and numerous loads of washing up earlier and opened every tin and grated every carrot because I am too weak to at the moment? God wrote us a crazy crazy love story and I love it.

Actually. I love it now.

There were times going through it I really would have rewritten it.

Drastically.

In a fit of something, I blogged those stages privately and I’m glad I did. If I were to write our love story now, it would probably be soppy with facts misremembered because I glossed over them.  And isn’t that how most love stories get shared: afterwards with glowing countenances and it’s so easy to forget the pain when you can snuggle up to your husband’s sleeping form and feel him adjust to make it more comfortable for you.

But there was pain.

There was doubt.

Heartache.

Disbelief.

Painful growth.

Heartsearching.

A million emotions.

And I wrote them down and I’m going to share them because even the most beautiful love stories have dark chapters and aren’t picture perfect and I want those younger than us to realise that.  Guys, Hollywood is useless. Seriously. Chuck all the ideology now. Find a man who is strong enough to tell you no, not one who gives you everything regardless.  A story can begin with barely even a friendship and yet end in a marriage of best friends.

But the disclaimer (and if you can’t take this onboard, please don’t read any further): this is our story.

I love it. It’s amazing. But it’s ours. Not yours. We share to hopefully awake you to the possibility that God won’t work as you expect, not to set out a road map. God is the God of the incredible and the mundane and sometimes we mix those up and haven’t a clue which is which. One Facebook status sparking a marriage? It’s incredible and yet, at the time, it was every day, mundane life.

I bet Heaven laughed.

I know we do now.

******

And so, to go back over two years…

When I was little, I knew how I was going to fall in love.  I’d studied my fairy tales enough to know I was going to walk into a room, someone would turn around, we’d be introduced and that was it.  Period.  I’d have fallen head-over-heels and would still be in love with him as a white-haired grandma.  I even knew he’d be a great dancer, would be training as a pastor or missionary and would be taller than my dad.

Well, we flunked love at first sight, he does.not.dance (I try my best, however) and if it wasn’t for Facebook, we would still be practical strangers to each other.  None of it how I had it planned or had even considered!!  But, somehow despite (maybe in spite?) it all, it’s clear God has a plan in this.

I’m writing this as I go through the ‘courtship’ and experience it but I’ve been advised to hold off posting these at such a vulnerable time.  (Hold me to it!)  So many of the stories I read on blogville are the ones written a few years after the wedding where they already know the happy ending.  And somehow the worries, the ‘first times’, the internal debates, get lost just a little.  So be gentle with me, ok?  This wasn’t how I would have written the story either but it’s how my story is being written and I’m discovering that I don’t have enough imagination to compete with God.  Whilst I will be posting these with the knowledge of the end of the story – the posts are written whilst I still don’t ‘know’.  Whilst the courtship could still end in two very different ways: a wedding or a walking away.  That uncertainty is still there.

So a new stage of life.  One that every girl dreams of.  One that I’d dreamed of, planned for, and yet was completely unprepared for.  Welcome to the rollercoaster…

For Part 2: So how did you two meet??!

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